hola children! I hope that you had a fabulous Tuesday. today I woke up and forced myself to get up and run...but that failed clearly when I rolled over and spotted my pillow and fell back asleep. #oops #guilty. so then I babysat as usual and today the babies and I went to the "choo choo mall"!! it's really just a mall that has a tiny train ride for babies, and my baby cousins enjoyed it alot. and randomly this mall also has a little playground type thing...it's actually ridiculous because why it is neccessary to have a playground in a MALL? so then we went to the toy store and it was precious because the kids just ran around and asked me a million times if they could buy every single toy and I had to turn them down but it's ok because they have so many freaking toys. and then I felt so silly because I hoola hooped and the store lady judged me but I was a stellar hoola hooper and was proud of myself. and then I played catch with the babies too. so ya we basically just played around and didn't buy anything. woops. and then we went to the candy shop which was GREAT because there was so so so much candy! the babies call all of it "gummies"...even the chocolate stuff. but then we got enough candy to rot their teeth and I bought some too. cept it wasn't actually as yummy as I had expected it to be...which was sad because I remember candy from the candy store being my absolute favorite. but today I just felt like an adult because as the little ones frolicked in the playground area, I sat with the mommas and watched. and then some lady asked me which kids were mine. EXCUSE ME WOMAN I WAS NOT ON 16 AND PREGNANT WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?! so I just wanted to look at her and be like, "LOL ya I totes have four kids....and one who is 8!! ya that's normal!" but instead I was polite and pointed to each of my cousins as they ran around like crazies and proudly claimed them as my own. but not actually my own because I have no desire to adopt them at the moment or pop out some little ones yet. NO THANK YOU! imagine how crazy that would be?! having a child right now....WHAAATTTT?! I can't even take care of myself let alone allow a small baby growing inside me and then becoming dependent on me!? NO WAY. ok sorry random tangent of the day right thurrrr. ok so then I went home and went out to dinner with some old family friends and it was great because we haven't seen them in ages. and it was super duper weird because the one that is my age is randomly super cute now and I was just like HEYYYY THERE YOU! :) and then we all just hung out and exchanged digits and ate yummy italian food and then his mother brought up how me and her son (the cute one that's my age) should get married one day. so that was good! and his momma was all, "ohhhh you're so old now and so pretty!!! Isn't she pretty Keegan?!" and he was all, "uhhh ya ok mom. you're too tall (to me)" SCORE! yay for tall girls. I need a tall guy...hit me up if you know some! ;) and then I just went home and read some more of The Help cause it's grrrrreat and now I'm watching some TV and talking to two of my good friends who are both precious and should be talking to eachother! so I gave each of them the other's numbers and I hope they text eachother. so today I am really mad at myself because I don't have anything super inspirational to say which is totally sad! so I'm hoping that it might come to me by the end of the blog....BUT one of my favorite songs played today and I hadn't heard it in forever. and it always makes me feel better and also kept me sane at state this year. it's Shake It Out by Florence and The Machine (but I personally like the Glee version better because in the episode, the girls sing it to Coach since her husband abused her and they tell her to bascially be strong) HERE IT IS FOLKS (sorry I've been going cray cray with the capitals tonight!)....
Shake It Out
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
Oh woah, oh woah...
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
ok so clearly these lyrics are amazing. every time I hear this song I immediately associate it with the scene which accompanies it in Glee. and then I think about guys being controlling and abusive and it makes me wanna listen to it all over again and belt it and cry and be pissed. cause I cannot stand the fact that so many girls let themselves get taken advantage of by guys and its clearly horrible when guys hit girls (or when girls hit guys) but atleast then, a girl can see when a guy is controlling her. but sometimes in relationships, guys can be very sneaky about it and can little by little take over a girl's life. (sorry that I'm blaming guys cause they can be victims too!) but I hate sitting back and watching the light fade from a girl's eyes as a guy blames them and tears them apart. it is currently happening to one of my friends because her boyfriend is super controlling and no one likes him and I just wanna scream because I don't want to lose her. It reminds me of that creepily horrible movie, Reviving Ophelia, where her insane boyfriend takes over the sweet girl's life and hits her and then at one point, he punches her straight in the face and she STILL stays with him. and he just shows up in her room always at random times and ahhhhh it's so so so scary! but then again I know that that is just an extreme example of abuse. (also NOT ALL GUYS ARE ABUSIVE...most are nothing of the sort) but still, little things sometimes go unnoticed but are actually signs of abuse. my ex boyfriend is an awesome person and I love him and all but they were definitely times when he would be controlling (and I'm sure I was too) but I would always think about that movie and wonder if I was being stupid. like when I would talk to other guys he'd be all jealous and stupid. but anyways....back to the song. I just like how it reminds us all to just shake it out. because besides being about standing up for yourself, especially against abuse; it's about being able to say, "so what?!" when you get slapped in the face and "TAKE THAT WORLD!" and sometimes when I have a sucky day and wanna curl up in bed and listen to Last Kiss by T Swift, I belt Shake It Out instead because it makes me feel so much better. incase you are interested, you can often find me dancing like a fool in my room listening to that song and singin "just shake it out....OOOOHHHH" but most importantly....I like that this song tells us to leave the past behind and remember that we can have fresh starts when we stick up for ourself and shake off all of the poison that follows us around and drags us down. moral of this blog...1) as I've said in the past....LOVE YOURSELF 2) stick up for your sorry butt and for others because you should NEVER EVER let people walk all over you or treat you like shit 3) don't forget to shake it out every once in awhile (and dance around your room cause it's obvi great) AND FINALLY...it is really really hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off (and this devil clearly is metaphorical and can represent your dead beat bf, or your pains in life, or your insecurity, or fears, or anything that drags you down. GOODNIGHT LOVELIES! I apologize for this rather lack luster blog. and I'm mad cause this is actually one of my favorite songs ever. I hope you got something out of this rant! I'll try to have a good one tomorrow! actually I'm not sure why it matters since pretty much no one even reads this! hahaha except my one bestie who is precious and tells me everyday that she loves me. thanks for that girl! alright I am done.
<3 <3 <3
anonymous blogger
No comments:
Post a Comment