sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

hi friends! I'm sure if I should call you that because there's a chance that I may not even know you even though you are infact reading this. oh well! today was a good day...this morning I had breakfast with some of my younger friends and it was very nice to catch up with them. I'm pissed at myself because I promised that I would do a much better job keeping in touch with these girls but I've actually done a shit job with that so I was glad that they appreciated seeing everyone this morning. ok anyways, I then babysat my baby cousins all day long, which was great. the babies make me so so so happy. life is just incredibly simple for them and I am very jealous of their lives. at the park today, they literally stopped every single time a "choo choo train" came speeding by and would just stare in awe at it. if only my life were like that. if I could just STOP and admire the choo choos that pass me by. but instead, I find myself attached to my phone, staring at the pointless screen, waiting for something fantastic to come from it, even though I know nothing will. that's a pretty sad sad routine. even though I am happy that I have a solid amount of freedom and I'm glad that I don't poop in my diaper and cry for my mommy, I still wish that I could take a nap every once in awhile and be giddy over the giant slide at the park, etc. etc. etc. ok well enough about babies...(I love babies by the way if you haven't noticed; I get a ton of crap for it but I don't care because they are simply the best) alright I promise I'm done now. so later tonight I spent time with 4 amazing girls and we just caught ourselves up on life and were happy. I am so glad that I have found such cool people to be close with, and I hope that all of those girls know how special and beautiful and amazing they are. because even though I try to do my best to remind them of it, I doubt they always believe me. but my favorite part of the evening is when I ended up at Jewel Osco, looking for munchies with two of my favorite girls (one who was not wearing pants...well she was wearing PANTS, but they were swimsuit bottoms) and I just laughed at what we were doing and the whole situation was so great. in those moments, I sort of felt like the baby. yes, I know what you are thinking....no honey, babies do NOT wander the aisles of Jewel Osco at 10:45pm in swimsuits looking for food. but bear with me for a second...I felt like I had no obligations, and I was simply finding pure joy in something so basic as shopping at Jewel with momma. except in this case it was with two 17 year old beauties. ok so for today's song I have chosen All At Once by The Fray. I'm not sure that it really relates to the rant above but I heard it today and I forgot how much I enjoy this song. so here are dem lyrics.....

"All At Once"

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it, maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
To another

so this song isn't as easy to decipher as the others that I have blogged about. but I'm gonna do my best so you'll have to bear with me again. I think that this song is mainly about how we are always looking for the bigger and better thing. even though we may have exactly what we need, we are just naturally selfish people and we can't help but wonder what else is out there. when I get older, I hope that I fall in love and marry someone who I am just so crazy about that I have absolutely no doubts. because I don't want to find myself in a situation like the song describes...one where someone amazing is right in front of you but you can't decide whether you want they back just because of the possibility of someone better coming along. as much as I hate hate hate to admit it...I do this all the time. I am working on taming the jealous creature inside of me because I have this terrible condition where I always want to be included. so I think that sorta goes hand in hand with my belief that I am missing out on better things. I want to simply be happy and satisfied with what I have but for some reason, I often think that I am not satisfied. (and this reminds me of my good friend's blog name..."should be satisfied"...SHOUT OUT TO THAT BETCH THAT I LOVE! <3) also my favorite line in this song is "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same" and I think that is so incredibly true because I often find myself hesitating to do something that is "right" just because it is difficult. so I am also working on being honest and doing the so called "right" thing no matter how hard it may be for me. no but actually, let's make that the moral of this blog. remember to 1) be like a baby and love dem choo choo trains...don't let them pass by without appreciating them ANDDDD 2) try to be satisfied with what you have and do the right thing....even though it is often very very difficult! ok well get some rest everyone!

<3 <3 <3
anonymous blogger