you make beautiful things

hey hey hey peeps! happy Monday! Monday is often a sucky day. especially during the school year...I don't know why but it just is. the weekend is always just so refreshing and Sunday nights are lovely because we eat a delicious family meal and then I finish up any homework I have and watch lots of TV and just relax. and then BAM Monday rolls around and smacks you in the face like HEYYYY WAKEY WAKEY ITS MONDAY BETCHES! and you have 5 longggg days of school so that is just grrrrrreat. haha no but I don't why it just always gets people down to think about Mondays. so on Mondays I always try to do my best to be extra cheerful (which may or may not come across as me being annoying and eager) :D sometimes I even pack a little somethin special in my lunch to vary from the typical PB&J everyday that I always get sick of and often throw away because it just tastes so so so gross!! ok wow that was a long tangent! but there is a point to this I promise! so today I woke up and then I realized it was Monday...hurray! but surprisingly, I wasn't dreading today. It didn't feel like your typical Monday. and actually...today was a good day! I ate a donut when I woke up (so that was great clearly) and then I went to my cousin's house to watch the babies. and again I had a great time with them because we always have a ton of fun. they are just precious and I love how they have their own little lingo and it's so cute when they say my name and their lil faces light up when they see me. then I went to the eye doctor and on my way there, I put on my new fav radio station (94.3 K LOVE) which is basically just cool Christian pop (which sounds so incredibly lame but its actually great) and my momma actually like it! (well some of it...) and we just listened and smiled and that was nice. and then I got some new contacts and glasses and that was great cause now I can actually see! so this was all great and I was actually fairly satisfied with my Monday. until my mother started talking and she was just saying crazy stuff. she starts going on and on about how I don't have enough confidence in myself and how I actually am beautiful...so that wasn't too bad.(thanks momma!) I mean it was certainly awkward but I was just smiling and listening. and THEN she says, "you don't believe me, do you?! (no mother, I do not...) you just need to FLAUNT it and embrace your hottness!" WAIT SAY WHAT?! did that just come out of my mother's mouth?! "I just don't understand why you won't believe me??? you have to flaunt so that boys will flock! how do you know that they don't like you?" oh momma...I don't know WHAT I am going to do with her. so I mentioned how after having the same boyfriend for over 3 years, I didn't really have a lot of experience with other guys (actually I had zero experience unless you count 8th grade...but just don't count 8th grade....really, don't...hahah) and I've never had a guy besides my ex bf call me beautiful or hot or flirt with me or anything...so why would I believe what my own mother is telling me? so then when I thought it couldn't get any worse...she goes home and brings it up to my brother! and then they both start with me and tell me to stop reading and to start going out and being confident. and my mom called me quiet! how does she know what I'm like in school or around guys?! I am NOT quiet. ok well I am super weird around guys but HEY! she doesn't need to know that!!! ok so then after we ate dinner I locked myself in my room (with a book might I add...The Help...its a fantastic book if you haven't read it) and now I am here writing this blog while watching The Bachelorette. so all of this craziness filled up my Monday...BUT no worries because something actually calmed me down today and is helping me feel much better. I remembered about this song that I sang at wyld life camp this summer (I was a leader there), and it's called Beautiful Things by Gungor. it's sorta a religious song (YAY JESUS) but it is much much more than that. it's basically about appreciating everything in life and recognizing those beautiful things that Christ makes. ok so here it is...

Beautiful Things


All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

ok so the lyrics of this song are incredibly simple. but for some reason they give me chills and make me so so so happy. I just like thinking that even though stupid, crazy things happen, and even when your mother rants at you, God still is making beautiful things and I need to just stop and look around and appreciate these things. and today I sort of did realize this. when I was babysitting, I put the babies down for their nap, and then I sat on the couch to read a book (of course...#nerdsrule) and then I got a text from two of my favorite girls that always have genuine smiles and are so cute. both of them told me to look outside, and sure enough, there they are! 3 wonderful girls who came over to surprise me. and they brought me a cookie!!! YES! :) and we took some pictures and laughed and smiled and it was wonderful. and later after they left, I sat on the back porch, reading my book, and I thought about how sweet it was that 1) they came over to see me and 2) that those 3 were having so much fun together because they haven't spent time together in forever and I loved seeing them all together and 3) even though it was a Monday, they didn't seem to care. and then, I listened to Beautiful Things on repeat for the next hour and kept thinking to myself about all of the beautiful things that God puts on the earth everyday. obviously he gives us gorgeous nature and sunrises and food (like my delicious cookie) and comfort etc etc etc. but he gives SO much more than that. he gives us love and patience and smiles and the ability to spend time with people that we care so much about. and even better...he gives us the power to forgive and move on. because even though my crazy mother annoyed and confused me, I secretly felt so blessed to have someone like her to praise me. and I know that she means well. so I decided to forgive her for speaking so abruptly and to forgive myself for acting like such a brat. and I decided that from now on, I am most certainly going to flaunt it! because God makes beautiful things out of ALL of us, myself included. so no, I'm not going to walk around in low cut tops and mini skirts and flaunt that stuff, but I will certainly try to shine and be myself and let my personality come through. and hopefully I'll be beautiful in that way. and I will try to see the beauty in others. because even though life is very painful sometimes, God makes everyone beautiful and he really wants us all to see it. (man that sounds corny but I truly believe it so BAM judge me!) so next Monday, I'm determined to rise and say, damn, I sure am happy for this beautiful Monday morning, and I WILL have a beautiful day. thank you God for making me new! :)

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