when people run in circles it's a very very mad world

so HEY! TGIF!! that sounds incredibly corny but really....let's thank God that it is Friday because Friday is a wonderful day! and just like Monday usually makes people feel sucky, Friday has this awesome way of making people feel just the opposite. it's like the idea of Friday just liberates you. so today I woke up and skipped the whole running thing. I woke up at 9:30 and did that thing where you roll over and then wake up and it's 11 magically. oops. ok so then I hung out for a little while and then met a few girls at the park to have a picnic. the group of girls was kind of different; I was sorta nervous about it just because we don't all usually hang out together and I didn't want it to be awkward. but thankfully it couldn't have gone any better. we sat around on a blanket and talked and then we played cards and ate lots of food. and took some artsy pics of course! and it was just great because I felt so comfortable around everyone and one girl who came is someone who recently separated from an old group of friends, and it felt so good to know that she could fit right into my group of friends. it was just so much fun and I was ashamed that it was only my first picnic of the summer. picnic's are just so great and stereotypically summer and I love them. so then we went to play mini golf and that was fantastic. 1) we spotted a hot group of guys that were a few groups in front of us so we stared at them a little too much 2) I randomly won? 3) what....? did I mention that I suck at mini golf....or any kind of golf actually? David tried to teach me last summer and it was quite comical. but anyways...after we killed it on the put put course, we made our way to steak n' shake because the two girls I was with had never had a milkshake from there! C'MON PEOPLE GET WITH IT!!! so so so good! so we downed our milkshakes and went our separate ways. it was just awesome. alright so then I later had this strange realization that I often am eager and super excited (ok now don't get me wrong...clearly I knew this before today, I'm not an idiot) BUT it was today that I truly recognized how sometimes my eager attitude can come across as pushy and possibly kind of creepy. especially when I text! because I send long messages and use "haha"s and smiley faces and its probably just super annoying. so I felt super guilty because I keep asking that friend of David's that I mentioned before if he wanted to hang out. he's just really nice and I love new friends but I think I just come across as way too excited. so then today I realize that maybe sometimes not everyone is as excited as I am to hang out. cause I bet that I've scared people away by my eagerness/aggresiveness and it was hard to admit to myself that maybe someone wouldn't want to hang out with his friend's random ex girlfriend. it suddenly makes a whole lot of sense but I just laughed at myself cause I felt so stupid. but then again it was all made alright when I went to my friends house who I haven't seen in forever. we literally sat in her kitchen and talked about life and how we love the idea of doing random favors for people. she went to an awesome camp where everyone was super friendly and we decided that we would try as best as we could to spread the love...especially around our school. so next week we are going to 1) bake cookies and drop them off on some of our friend's doorsteps anonymously 2) pay for random people's meals that are behind us in line at a drive thru at a fast food restaurant 3) write some anonymous notes to people that we love 4) send some enouraging text messages to brighten people's days and anything else that we can think of! and we're hoping that by giving some love...we can make someone feel better and they will then share that love with somebody else. so ya that's what we talked about and we just lied down on her kitchen floor and that is how we spent our Friday night. and I love her and I wouldn't have changed a minute of it. but today's song is simply about how without people remembering to spread this love and positivity, we would have a mad, mad world. therefore, the song is "Mad World" by Gary Jules. here it is....

Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are fillin' up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you'
Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

Children waitin' for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sits and listen, sits and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you'
Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Mad world, mad world

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dyin'
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you'
Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad world, mad world
A raunchy young world
Mad world
ok so this song is clearly very dark and kind of depressing. and frankly, it makes me so sad because it is 100% true. I chose this song mostly because of the tragic shooting at the movie theater in Aurora, Colorado that occured last night. it sickens me to think that someone could simply get a gun and start shooting just because he felt like it. and no one could stop him. just like how a student can walk into school with a gun and do the same thing. I read both Columbine and 19 Minutes (by Jodi Piccoult) and both are about school shootings (the one is 19 Minutes is fictional but loosely based off of Columbine). and it is awful because both are super intriquing and I feel gross just reading it but I can't stop because it is so addicting. tragedy is such a weird thing because it has this strange way of bringing people together. just like I couldn't stop reading the book, people aren't going to forget about this shooting. and although it is disgusting and tragic and horrible that someone could do this and there is nothing to prevent this chaos, it is slightly refreshing to see people praying together and supporting eachother. imagine how many people prayed today for the victims or simply thoughts about the tragedy? how many hearts went out to those people involved? and it is then and only then that I am able to find peace in this mad, mad world. because it is so true that people can feel empty and hollow and saddened, but sometimes there is just something that awakens everyone and makes us realize that there is just SO much to live for and we can't sit around and let it pass by. because yes, it is a mad world and there is a lot of heartache and shit that we can't control. but why not try to start spreading the love and instead of being united by tragedy, maybe one day we could actually be united by something amazing...like a nation wide day of praise or a record for the largest amount of random hugs given? (if you haven't seen the free hugs video please please please watch it NOW! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4 ) sure, it is such an idealistic thought and clearly I know that not everyone will just want to drown in happiness and make cakes out of rainbows (Mean Girls reference round 2 errebody!) but I'd rather die knowing that I atleast tried and maybe affected someone's life positively than think about the fact that some people couldn't care less. cause maybe I could be the person who changes that for them. SO. moral of this blog...1) appreciate what you have in life and share the love! I heard someone say on the radio (94.3 KLOVE!!!) today that we need to cherish every breath...so let's do that! 2) be kind and compassionate as much as possible and do some simple acts of kindness 3) don't forget to unite over things that are positive and not always focus on tragedy 4) this one is random but I just remembered it...work on setting some goals, sorta like new year's resolutions....and aim to reach those goals. my friend and I talked tonight about how we have sorta failed on our resolutions...so I am now determined to do a better job. 5) take some time to do simple things like have a picnic with a random group of friends or lay on the kitchen floor and discuss life...because why not?! 6) don't be afraid to be a little bit too eager...because even though my new friend might not be as excited to spend time with me...I'm just gonna keep being me and hopefully my true friends will appreciate it. but I will actually work on being less creepy. ok so here is my list of new year's resolutions incase you are inspired but need a little jump start.....mine is simply on a note in my iPhone....

1) Put others first and be less selfish
2) Be positive and avoid gossip
3) Try my hardest and don't complain
4) Make new friends but also get a few really close ones
5) LET LOOSE AND HAVE FUN! (this one was written in all caps on my phone)
6) Grow in my faith and try to go to church more often
7) Spend time equally with my boyfriend and friends (this one is no longer applicable soooo....mission accomplished?)
8) Love my "list" very well (I have a list of all of the people that I care about and love)
9) Stay healthy along with friends and family!!!
10) Stay in touch with Mike more (my brother)
11) Embrace me inner Pocius (as in my beautiful friend that I laid on the floor with tonight...)

ok so that is all for tonight. <3 also my friend that I hung out with tonight is now a reader of the blog...welcome!! I love you!

<3 <3 <3
anonymous blogger

P.S. tomorrow is David's sisters wedding and I am so ridiculously excited but I will likely get home super late and not be able to blog tomorrow night. so incase you get worried or something (which is highly doubtful), I am not dead. I will just fill you in on Sunday then! nighty night! <3